The RY process

Over the last few years Ian Wolstenholme has been introducing people to a process of ‘revealing your original self’ which has been having a very deep effect on people lives. Most of us through our conditioning grow up believing that we must hide our true feelings. Every time we feel vulnerable, scared, nervous or even happy we try to cover it up and act ‘normal’. This habit of trying to act different from how we really are creates many problems in our life. It creates barriers between us and the people we would like to connect with. Through our inability to reveal ourselves we also build up stores of resentment, anger, hurt and end up avoiding people or situations that may cause us to feel any ‘uncomfortable feelings’. It creates stress just trying not to show certain aspects of ourselves to people.

Many people do self help groups or work on themselves in different ways but often the insights gained or emotions released don’t translate into every day life. We go straight back into our patterns of trying to look as though we have no fear, trying to hide our needs or our insecuritys. ‘This process really has its origins in my own exploration into my inner domains. After my awakening I discovered I still had all kinds of thoughts, feelings and needs that were meant to disappear into thin air once enlightenment occurred. Over time I saw that all these parts still existed in me and in others who were awakened. My process has been one of ‘coming out of the closet’ and saying yes I am enlightened but yes I still have fears, insecuritys and needs. Yet it was also true that I had a deep acceptance of all these aspects in myself. The fact that I have fears and needs is ok for me, I don’t need to hide it.

What I have seen of the many people that I have met and talked to over recent years is that most of them struggle with being ok with all that they are. All that they are includes all the hidden parts, fears and insecurities. It is the disowning of these parts that causes the problems in peoples lives not the parts themselves. That is why I have slowly introduced the RY process to people. The process of revealing your original self is so simple in one way that I hate to call it a ‘process’. In reality the art of revealing becomes a way of life. We have learnt negative life habits, now we can acquire a more positive life habit. Often the simple things in life are the most difficult and that is true in this case.

It takes trust and courage to reveal yourself in the beginning but it is also true that the more you do it the more easy and natural it becomes. We create a safe environment in which to explore the revealing process. Opening up in situations where others present are used to the same process is the best place to start. Then it becomes more and more natural to you and becomes such a part of you that it filters into your everyday life. Revealing doesn’t always have to be something dramatic or deep, it can be as simple as saying ‘I feel like I don’t know what to say right now’. Revealing is just a way of being who you are without having to try and be different.

"So much of our stress and difficulties in relating come because we don’t want to reveal ourselves, we don’t want to show people that maybe we are not as cool and clever as we seem. Yet when we do reveal more of ourself it makes such a difference in that we are opening ourselves up to get some real nourishment and joy.’’

Case studies 1) ‘For many years I had the problem of feeling overwhelmed in certain situations. In certain social situations I would just clam up and not be able to function normally anymore. This problem prevented me from being social with people for fear that this may happen. After taking part in my first session of RY for the first time the idea occurred to me that I could reveal my fears to people. I had turned down many opportunities to go out with friends to parties and social gatherings for fear that I would experience a panic and a clamming up. I now realised that it was possible that I could let them know that this happens to me I didn’t have to hide it. I always thought this meant I was weak if I let people know my fears but I see that it takes strength to reveal yourself and to show that you have weaknesses.’

2) ‘The revealing process for me is something that has sown a seed inside me and it is a seed which continues to grow every day. So much of my habit has been to cover up how I really am and try to present myself in a way that I felt would be more acceptable to people. Even though I had done a lot of spiritual work and therapy I hadn’t got into a habit of living in a way that was really being ‘me’. The RY process has given me the trust and strength to reveal a lot more of myself which is a much more relaxing and nourishing way to relate. Revealing the ‘real me’ takes the strain out of trying to keep up the pretence of behaving like the so called ‘perfect’ me. Even though I may sometimes reveal vulnerabilites in myself I feel utterly empowered by doing so, it is a wonderful habit to get into.’

The RY process - Revealing your original self

One hour sitting meditation to allow everyone to connect with themselves in a deep and relaxed way, This is so we are all more connected to our original self before we begin the revealing process. After the meditation there is a two hour sharing, those present are invited to become involved. Issues naturally unfold around what is being said and part of the revealing process is to express how you are affected by the words and energy that may be conveyed. There is no obligation to speak or get involved beyond where you feel comfortable. Seeing your limitations is a strength not a weakness. Seeing what it actually is that you are disturbed by, is the opportunity to get what you need. Things that disturb you are not small insignificant or petty. You can do something with your life, You can realise how you treat yourself and other people, then you can disengage from the scripts which are limiting your perception and awareness. For it is your human conditioning which prevents you from living in direct experience of this reality. Spiritual perfection is recognising that we are all fucked up and that it is OK. We were forced to hide the forbidden parts of ourselves because they were unacceptable to whoever was your authority figure. Set your original self free, find out how to give yourself permission to be who you want to be and live how you want to live.

New series starts this summer